This pod should be listed as political opinion. I don’t want to hear about your political views.

I’m a fan of By the Book. I totally understand and agree that these wonderful, talented hosts deserve to be compensated fairly for the awesome work they do. At the same time, this would be my most expensive single podcast subscription, if I understand the pricing tiers correctly, and slightly more expensive than a few of my streaming/audio/reader subscriptions as well. I’m usually quick to jump on my fave creators’ Patreons; this one is just a bit steep. Also, the scripted tone of the show stands out to me lately. I’m not sure when that shifted.

I’ve been following this podcast for years and I love every iteration this show has taken. I adore Kristen and Jolenta. Their thoughtfulness and vulnerability and senses of humor with their lives has gotten me through many tough situations. (Nursing school, my parents getting a divorce as an adult, my partner’s chronic illness, and the pandemic, to name a few). I just moved and this season about friendship is being so helpful and fun as I strike out on yet another adventure! P.S. I just learned that they BOTH use handkerchiefs. So cute and charming.

...at least gay men do. Sixteen years ago, my best friend of 12 years ghosted me, at the time I needed him the most. I could not process the fact that he could so easily cast off a 12-year formative kinship that had seen us through the best times of our lives. To make matters worse, he became close friends with a friend I had brought into our friend group, but neither was particularly fond of one another. I was devastated. I think that I had been waiting for the length of time that we were no longer friends to surpass the length of times that we were friends before I could heal. I'm now four years beyond that time, and finally able to enjoy my memories of us together without feeling the colossal loss. We had been growing apart and I can see how our breakup was likely inevitable anyway, but at the time it was WORSE than any romantic breakup I had ever experienced, simply because of our commitment to being each others' ride or die. Fascinating to hear of others' experiences.

While How to Be Fine and By the Book were interesting concepts with good topics, I had to unsubscribe today. Its become as cringy as listening to an insecure 15 year old high school theater girl that wants to look “fun” so she laughs extra loud while looking around to make sure she’s getting attention… and you feel utterly embarrassed for her. The final straw was a recent episode where one of the steps was ‘stop being performative on social media.’ Given the HUGELY performative nature of the show and host’s personality (mainly just the one) listening to them talk about how well they did not being performative was just too meta irritating. Episode suggestion- Insecure attention-seekers and the friends that enable their behavior.

I love listening to Kristen and Jolenta. I love their excitement, their realness, and just how they deliver things. It’s like sitting and hanging out with friends.

Keep it up

I have been missing By the Book so I am thoroughly enjoying this!

Great decision to rerelease By The Book Season 1. I’m tearing up listening to it. Support you two in any iteration, always and forever.

Jolenta and Kristen are two smart, funny, kind women who review past and current self help type topics and give well considered, compassionate advice to folks who write in about a sorts of issues.

I used to dip in occasionally to “By the Book” and always enjoyed it, but wasn’t a regular listener. I recently heard Kristen talking about the revamped format when she was a guest on another podcast, and I LOVE the direction they’ve taken and the down-to-earth approach to cutting through hype, finding the truth and value, if any, in [hot topic], and bringing context and perspective to the conversation. Thank you, Kristen and Jolenta!

I love you both, I look forward to your episodes. I am a holiday movie aficionado. This episode gets 5 golden rings! K’s breakdown of Love Actually are the words I’ve been waiting for! I can’t believe how many friends say it is their favorite Christmas movie. Thank you thank you thank you! This year I’ve shared with family the OG tv movie, A Boyfriend for Christmas.

Thank you for covering topics that some people wouldn’t touch, love the recent episode on decentering men . You ladies do such a great job 👏

This is one of my favorite podcasts right now. I like the researched approach. When there’s a topic I’ve heard of, I’m excited to learn more. When I’m not familiar, I love diving into something new! Keep up the good work

This podcast is like having a conversation with friends— current events, funny fads, critical thinking, yet always respectful and fun. The hosts themselves are friends and hosted a previous podcast “By the Book” (check it out), so it’s been great to follow them to a new show. Well edited— it’s not rambling and self indulgent like other podcasts I’ve tried that are hosted by friends. Great listening while taking a walk or on a day you just wish your friends were around.

What I love about the How To Be Fine podcast is how the hosts are always kind and inclusive, but still manage to be edgy and funny. The topics are engaging and finally there was one tailor made for me….marathons. I have run 21 of them and they nailed the pros and cons. I love the advice they give and their Insta pics as well. If you want some podcast besties to keep you company on the treadmill or just life’s journey, check out this podcast!

I was sad to see By the Book go, but this is one of the funniest and best podcasts out there!

When I’m bombarded with a lot of negativity, cynicism, and stress (both online and in the real world), How to be Fine is such a welcome antidote. I feel like I’m listening to two friends who just want to help make my life a little easier. So grateful to have found this podcast!

This podcast is now on my favorites list! I love these two. I feel like I’m hanging out with some friends having coffee. A must listen!!

I love this “gentle” podcast. They are so even mannered and considerate of all sides of a trending subject. So many podcasts tell us how to live and what to do. But this podcast very gently discusses topics. I dunno, I just really connect with these ladies. It’s great to listen to while I work which is nice. And the advice is so wonderful and supportive. Love you ladies!!

I miss their former podcast, “By the Book,” so hard. It was my favorite thing to listen to in the shower or while cooking and I recommended it to countless friends. I’m still holding my breath that they will bring it back. Unfortunately, “How to Be Fine” really doesn’t hold a candle to “By the Book.” That said, if you’re new to this feed, scroll to the very beginning so you can listen to all the wonderful By the Book episodes, where Kristen and Jolenta live by self help books for two weeks at a time and report back about what happens. Aw, I miss it so 🥹

I’m unsubscribing after enjoying Kristin & Jolenta’s feed for years. I loved By the Book but always felt that planning that show and living that way must have been a heavy lift. So, when I noticed the themes of the books they reviewed started to fall into just a few categories with the same arguments to be made each time, I wasn’t surprised that they closed that chapter and tried a new show. I don’t love the new show, but honestly I’d probably stick with it just out of habit if it weren’t for the hosts being increasingly hard to listen to. For context: most of my favorite podcasts would probably be deemed “woke” by those across the aisle, and I strongly relate to the values and vision these hosts are championing. But, the near-constant caveats, acknowledgement of privilege, reminders re. underrepresented groups… it’s been taken to such an extreme as to be unwieldy and difficult to listen to. Which is a shame because the hosts do give good advice. I was also off put by the Hilaria/Hilary Baldwin episode. Granted, I’ve not followed any of her story closely and everything I’ve heard does seem very problematic. BUT, I would rather be a person who takes the most charitable view, especially as an outsider who can never truly know what’s going on. You can say that a behavior reads a certain way and is concerning while still leaving room for a little grace. Maybe there’s mental illness involved that we don’t know about? From hosts I’ve come to see as empathetic people, I found their approach in this episode to be to aggressive, cold, judgy, and completely devoid of nuance. I did gain value from the old show, and I’m grateful for that. But, sadly, this new show (and the seeming evolution of these hosts) is not for me.

Love the letter writers and your responses. Such a lovely positive podcast!

I enjoy how Kristen and Jolenta give varying views on the topic. They don’t always agree, and they always listen to each other and hear out each side. That said, sometimes it feels formulaic - obviously they have a plan for each episode but I mean apart from that - and results in some of the shows having a “canned” feel that I think ordinarily they try hard not to produce.

Kristen and Jolenta bring a critical lens to the wellness nonsense and goodsense we see all the time. I feel informed and entertained by their episodes. Love this new format.

This podcast is fun and a good way to hear about all the ways people say you should be taking care of yourself and how this advice actually plays out in real life. Kristen and Jolenta often have different and funny views on the self-help advice and also include critiques from listeners/readers on their take.

Their early episodes were great. But now there’s all together too much much “liberal think” in this podcast. Any mention of God or Christianity in the books is mentioned as a negative by hosts. Much cursing also lowers the listening experience. Great premise and potential...too bad it’s not worth keeping in its present state.

I loved the contrast between Jolenta and Kristen on By the Book, and it carries through on this podcast. They strike a balance between fun and taking serious things seriously. They have different, but complementary perspectives and feature interesting trends and reader questions. It’s a comforting and fun listen.

Loved By the Book, and I love this podcast even more! Funny and insightful, and I like the hosts so much. Their perspectives are enlightening and I always appreciate how they help me see a topic in a new, more informed way. I always look forward to listening!

I- somewhat surprisingly- like this podcast even more than By The Book. Love the hosts - they are fantastic together!

Sadly, after being an enthusiastic listener for years, I decided to unsubscribe to “how to be fine”. By the book was great, but without the experience of living by the book, I feel like this is just a woke take on self help trends. I sadly found I wasn’t enjoying the episodes and getting through them felt like work. I think the fun of the podcast was listening to their funny stories listening to the ridiculous self help advice and now that’s gone… By the book review: Wish they were my friends IRL Been listening since the beginning and no other podcast lives up to it! I’m such a Jolenta character- always trying to optimize everything and overthinking, so it’s great to have Kristin as a balance. Started listening when I was a super lonely new New Yorker and always hoped I would run into these girls and we would become besties!

Jolenta and Kristin light up my week and life! Another Kristin M.

Cannot say how much I enjoy Kristen and Jolenta! I do miss By the Book but glad they are still podcasting together.

I like this podcast, the hosts are charming and lead interesting lives. Sometimes I think that they don’t always use good faith/objective arguments and use the podcast as a jumping off point for their own ideas about things, regardless of the book they’re reading/lifestyle they are adapting/ topic they are discussing. A few eps I think that they’re coming in with an already fully formed opinion instead of being open to trying something that may not come naturally for them. Still a good podcast if you like east coast snark and funny ladies who are smart (which i do!)

I’ve been following Kristen

Great show!

Love these two. I’m constantly laughing, and nodding my head in agreement. Great, information and insight and always a good time!

I was a huge By the Book fan, but this is my first listen to How to Be Fine and my first time ever writing a review. As someone who identifies as an independent politically, I’m very turned off by their “advice” which reeks of their political views and gives little to no evidence of any open-mindedness to dialogue with people who think differently. We are already surrounded by alienating political discussion everyday, trying to mask it as self-help is a no-go for me personally.

I enjoyed BTB a lot but I think How to be Fine is even better! Really thoughtful, practical advice that sounds like it’s coming from a caring friend. I get excited when a new episode pops into my feed & then save it for Saturday mornings when I can really savor it.

I have recently decided that this new format just isn’t for me. I much preferred by the book but because I loved you both I gave this a honest try but after your most recent podcast about crunchy moms I am a HARD NO in terms of continuing to listen. I understand you all have your views but to not really be willing to see the other side is a little disheartening. 💔

I consider these ladies some of my closest friends though we’ve never met. Love everything about this podcast. A great listen if you’re missing your girlfriends & need a boost.

First off, I love Kristen and Jolenta and want them to succeed, because I loved their first podcast By the Book. Onto the review… If they stuck to just discussing trends in the wellness industry, this would be great. I love the first half of their episodes. I have tried, really tried, with the second half, and it’s just not good. They got into this arena as unique critics of the self-help industry, but this podcast is as a part of the very industry they are critiquing. I don’t really care to listen to their listeners’ problems or the hosts’ common-sense advice that practically any other podcaster could give. Kristen and Jolenta really had a fabulous point of view when they were doing By the Book. I get why they might have moved on from that; it feels like it probably had a pretty big effect on their personal lives and maybe they were running out of livable books. Their experience living by that podcast gives them a great point of view when it comes to discussing wellness and self-help trends. But when it comes to giving their listeners advice? They sound like every other life coach. That’s not why I listen to them, and I now turn this podcast off when they turn to listener letters. I wish they would just stick to talking about the self-help industry and leave the self-help advice aside. They had a great thing going as outsider critics of the self-help industry, and while they try to maintain that outsider position, if they continue the listener advice part of this podcast they will become part of the very industry that they are supposed to be critiquing— aka hypocrites. I don’t think they are at that point yet, because they are too new to giving out self-help advice. But if they keep it up for too long, this will be unlistenable due to the sheer hypocrisy of critiquing the self-help industry in the first part of the episode, even while they dole out self help advice in the second part of each episode. This podcast is still new, so I hope they change the format before this goes on for too long.

I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about Kristen & Jolenta moving on from their old By the Book self help book format, but I’m loving the new How to be Fine! Still a wonderful combination of funny and thoughtful.

What I wrote a couple years ago: I’ve been listening since episode one. I look forward to every one! What I feel about the new show: almost aggressively snarky, alienating, and a bit mean. The new format and scripting are so different from anything else you’ve done, and not in a good way. I guess all good things do come to an end.

I enjoyed the previous layout of the show where they lived by advice of a self-help book. They repeatedly said it was a comedy podcast. Now they have pivoted to review self-help concepts. It seems like they do a 10-15 minute high level summary of the topic, then move on to listener questions. So now it is no longer a comedy podcast, but also not in-depth enough to actually be educational.

Kristen and Jolenta (and Fwank!) are among my very favorite podcasters! In their original podcast, they tapped into the attraction of self-help books and but went so far beyond that genre with their thoughtful commentary and humor. How to Be Fine continues their legacy of optimism and humor. If your heart needs a lift in these challenging times, listen to these smart, funny, wonderful women!

Kristen and Jolenta are so relatable and honest about tough subjects. Love the direction the show has gone.

I always loved “By the Book,” and now that they’ve lived by all these books I feel like I just get to sit back and hear Kristen & Jolenta banter about the stuff I’ve always wondered!! Never leave me, ladies!!

Loving this show. Really enjoying this new chapter!

I was a huge By the Book fan— I’ve listened to every episode and maintain that it has one of the most durable concepts / structures I’ve ever seen in a podcast. I totally get why they can’t do it forever; the production process seemed grueling! But the new show, How to Be Fine, is unfortunately a huge step down. It’s almost exactly like Maintenance Phase but with less rigorous research. I recommend the BTB archive and their other show Romance Road Test. I’ll look out for future Kristen and Jolenta projects but regretfully will be skipping this one.