I’m beyond grateful for Julie, Drew and Melissa. This podcast has changed my marriage in understanding both my husband and myself. In our relationship, I am the avoidant partner, which has made me question myself in the past—wondering if I was losing my mind or if something was wrong with my personality. It’s incredibly validating and comforting to know there is a good reason why I have created negative cycle’s. It’s also calming to feel so much empathy for my sweet anxious husband, who used to express feeling like a “crazy monster” all the time. We are eternally grateful for the knowledge and understanding, and hope this podcast reaches all marriages stuck in the anxious-avoidant dynamic.

I can’t tell you how eye opening Julie’s work is. I’ve read her book, and this podcast continues to have me in awe. I see myself and my (ex) husband everywhere in it. I just wish I would have found her years ago. I’d still be married if I had. It is worth every minute you have to hang on to every word spoken in this podcast.

Reading the book put my wife on the path of understanding and healing. Listing to the podcast I realized this couple is completely different then us in lifestyle (they are straight, we are lesbians, they have kids, we don’t, they are young, we are in our 50’s.). What I found is that underneath it all there are tons of similarities in our approach and cycles and hearing them grow through them help me to navigate as we go through our process. Even more so, we are now coaching with Nichole Bihl with The Secure Relationship and we are getting to experience the growth of going through it! Worth the investment in our love!

As a disorganized attached, i thought I was more on an anxious than avoidant. While listening the podcast, I resonated with Drew a lot to my surprise. It was pretty hard to listen when Julie goes deeper with him about shame. I couldn’t hold my tears. Thanks for sharing your experience with us.

An insightful message from a perceptive and skilled teacher. Thank you, Julie.

I have read and re-read Julie’s book Secure Love and follow her religiously on Instagram, but I held off on the podcast since I am not married with children yet and didn’t think I’d relate to this couple. Turns out I was completely wrong, it has been so beneficial to listen to them work through their negative cycles and I’ve found myself crying during several episodes. It has helped me understand my avoidant partner better and given me tools to improve our communication. I am so so grateful for Julie and all of the work she does ❤️❤️

I have the book, Secure Love, and have found this work the most helpful for my partner and I. We are at the beginning stages of working in this way and I can already tell it’s going to be life changing for us. Amazing content and live the format of listening in on therapy sessions. Thank you!

This podcast was exactly what I needed to help me understand and know that my husband and I are not alone as I walked through the sessions with this couple I could easily replace their names with our names, and there were many times that it struck such a desperate sideof things that we are struggling with and made it eye-opening

This podcast has been an incredible journey for me so far and I’m not even finished yet. It’s like discovering a hidden treasure map that’s been long buried. The now illuminated path is taking me to dark places I previously have not dared to explore alone. With the guidance of Julie it’s like I’m discovering things about myself that have long been buried and booby-trapped in my thoughts and inside my body. I cannot believe the relatability of this couple’s experiences, and relief in just hearing my own hidden fears being discovered and shared alongside Melissa and Drew’s story. You don’t need to be married with children to relate to this podcast. The value it offers transcends down to the deepest parts of insecure attachment and self. I cannot wait to finish this journey to see where it takes me!

After years of working as an EFT therapist, this was the missing link to fully understand what I need to do better. I am so beyond grateful for the vulnerability of Drew and Melissa for sharing their work with us and for Julie’s craftsmanship and skill in making this work come to life in a safe and effective way. I can not recommend this enough to any couples therapist and anyone wanting deeper connection with themselves and others. Such a gift to us all!

By far the best relationship podcast I’ve ever come across and the only podcast I’ve ever listened to religiously. I’ve learned so much about myself and my partner from Julie and her podcast. Thank you!

Dear Julie, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this wonderful gift of a podcast with therapists and couples alike! The sheer beauty of your work, the mastery of your craft as a counselor is nothing short of inspiring. As a Level 1 and 2 EFT therapist, I have never experienced such a helpful “training”! There was something about the process of watching the 20 sessions unfold in vivo, and the way you so brilliantly executed the beautiful EFCT model that I felt actual joy! I eagerly listened to each episode multiple times and downloaded all the homework- another gift in and of itself! It takes serious courage to put these sessions out there, knowing they will be scrutinized not only by listeners but by other colleagues! Your bravery has influenced us all to better therapists! And a huge THANK YOU to Melissa and Drew for their honestly and bravery as well! I can’t wait for Seasonn 2!!!

This podcast is really informative. It takes real life couples and guides them through their issues. I’ve learned so much from this podcast and Julie’s therapy. I enjoy hearing her interpretations as she goes through the therapy sessions. Highly recommend.

I am truly interested in this podcast, but I found it hard to listen to. I liked the setup in the beginning of each episode, but there are so many long pauses during the therapy sessions that I kept thinking my phone had lost service or somehow paused itself. I’m sure there’s a way to edit out some of that dead air. It was so distracting to me that I couldn’t focus on the back and forth.

This podcast has the capacity to change lives and marriages. It was a beautiful transformation in a real relationship—masterful therapy & brave couple

We’ve learned many tools from this excellent podcast. Out of all the podcasts I subscribe to, this one consistently exemplifies a model of wise and compassionate inner work.

There is a plethora of insight to be gained about how others and ourselves behave in relationship. It’s evident that if we don’t dive into our own inner workings then we most likely will continue to stumble through understanding the why behind the actions/feelings of ourselves and partner. Beautiful…thanks for sharing this with us all!

I am only part way through the episodes and have learned so much. I love Julie and Melissa and Drew and am cheering their successes. I love the parts where Julie comes in to tell us what she’s thinking, where she’s going with her tactics. I’m addition to bring a fascinating listen, it is helping me be a better partner. Thank you!

I’ve listened to all episodes of Julie's podcast. It is truly a relatable and very helpful, free guide and tool for me I would venture to say, for most people who want to grow into positive, mutually supportive relationships with their partners, and I would say with others. Julie’s podcast also provides many opportunities for self reflection and growth. Thank you, Julie, for sharing your deep knowledge and insight with the world! And for truly caring!

I started therapy in September of this year and I randomly found your podcast right around then. I have found it incredibly helpful! I literally write down notes and bring them into my own sessions. I am so grateful for your content!

These last 5 episodes have really been enlightening. Even though my husband and I have been through a year of EFT couples therapy ourself, the therapist never got this deep and this far. This is truly a gift to all married couples who listen. I can visualize myself sitting across from you Julie as if you are speaking to me and my issues. I am the anxious partner and I needed to see/hear another person like me to see what it’s like to be in a negative cycle with me. I can see more of my part of the cycle and more of what I need to work on now. You are so generous and so gifted. This is exactly the truth in love conversation that I’ve needed to help myself heal. 🙏🏼 Love always wins.

It’s so great to hear the process play out. The content and conversations are so relatable. I find myself answering the questions to myself as I go through each episode and envisioning my partner as the other person. How would I answer? How did I react in similar situations? What could I do differently. It’s all there. Whether you’re in a relationship or single, if you want to work on yourself and your attachment style, listen to this podcast and read the book.

This is truly the most helpful podcast I have come across in terms of self-development and marriage therapy. Julie is an amazing marriage counselor. Listening to her is so nurturing for me. She articulates how things are happening in a digestible way which helps me connect to my deeper layers and understand my husband better too. I love Julie and this brave couple. 10/10 recommend if you dont have funds/time for marriage therapy.

Of all the attachment content in the world, this one hits. The uncensored journey of a real couple is an effective way to teach this theory. Julie is clearly a very experienced and talented psychotherapist. I hope this podcast keeps going and explores different relationship dynamics in future seasons—anxious males, avoidant females, queer couples, friendships, etc.

Nice insights and a great complement to the book. Thanks to Julie’s insights and Melissa and Drew’s bravery to work through the process together!

This podcast is amazing. Each episode takes you deep into this couple’s relationship and their inner beings. Julie is a master at conducting the therapy and explaining it to the listeners. It is very relatable and a reminder that marriage can be hard but with introspection and vulnerability it can be made easier.

I love this podcast and really appreciate the growing trend of people being open with relationship challenges that would be considered too private and personal to share with the world in earlier generations, or even a handful of years ago (Thinking of Esther Perel, and Couples Therapy the tv show). I find it so useful to my only had the sessions, but to have Julie come in and explain her methods and approach in real time. The added web resources and book are awesome additions. It's such a generous podcast and I'd love to see more seasons and more shows like this in general!

This podcast has been invaluable in gaining a better understanding of how stable relationships hinge on how we build connection and how we understand each other’s trauma and blocks to connection. I’m only on episode 12, but I’ve already learned so much. Even though the couple is straight and with kids (I’m not either of those things) the process is still completely relatable. It’s heartening to see trust being built when there had been such large protective blocks in place.

Listening has helped me learn how to slow down and really be present with what is happening in my relationship. I am in a heterosexual relationship where the female (me) is anxious and the male is avoidant and as I listen I consistently find myself orienting back to a place of curiosity and compassion for both myself and my partner. I really appreciate the therapist’s asides alongside the dialog, illuminating what’s happening and how she is reacting to what the couple is bringing forward.

This podcast is so good, so important, and so helpful. Thank you to Julie for all the excellence and thoughtfulness you bring to this podcast, as well as to your IG content and your book, Secure Love.

Julie Menanno’s calm, thoughtful, and ultimately hopeful approach to attachment and relationship issues has been wholly educational. She takes the time to consistently define and dimensionalize anxious and avoidant attachment personas in an almost scientific way. And unlike many relationship professionals on social media, she rounds things out with a somatic approach.

This podcast has been so helpful for me and my partner. Melissa and Drew and the issues they are navigating in their relationship is so relatable and the way Julie unpacks the emotional tangle of big or small events in their lives makes so much sense. I am grateful to you all for putting yourselves out there to help me and so many others out there struggling to connect! It is even helping me approach parenting my 6yo daughter. I find myself approaching her tough emotions with curiosity, making space for her feelings, and validating them rather than jumping to solve them. It still surprises me how much it helps her when I just do that. Thank you!!!

Your instagram, book and now this podcast have turned around many relationships in my circle of friends and family. Your work is so valuable. Thank you for generously sharing your wisdom and insights that help more people than you could ever reach just in private practice.

This pod has been the perfect adjunct to Julie‘s book allowing us to witness a couple learning about their attachment styles and relational patterns and how to love each other authentically. I binge listened to all episodes and look forward to hearing more when they drop.

These sessions have been so helpful in helping us understand our own negative cycles and how to get to the deeper work of truly understanding what has been keeping us stuck.

These sessions have been incredibly powerful to me. I appreciate Drew and Melissa for being so open and I love Julie’s approach and interjections to explain it all. Such a great way to uncover and process these attachment styles. Thank you!

A great pairing with her amazing book! Learning a lot by listening to these incredible sessions.

After listening to several episodes, I was able to recognize my own anxious attachment tendencies not only with my husband but all the people I interact with in life. And I was able to learn how to self soothe and get out of my own negative patterns. It’s a Godsend. So thankful! It’s a relief to finally know these negative patterns can be broken and learn the tools to do so.

I have felt lost for a while and Julie’s podcast has really been helping me sort out things that have been difficult for me for decades. I encourage anyone who may listen to this podcast to listen without comparing every little detail in their own life. The questions being asked and the strategies being implemented are really what I take away from it. Of course I am not exactly Melissa, but I have learned so much about myself by just letting things hit me when they are similar. If you feel anything while you listen, I invite you to the some time to explore what it was that affected you in that moment. Did you relate to something that was said? Or maybe a general theme sounded familiar? I hope you can gain as much as I have from this podcast, even though it is only halfway through.

This navigating of the anxious and avoidant relationship is so generous and kind it just blows my mind. The moments in between where Julie explains the therapeutic approach and insights are invaluable!! I think everyone should be educated on how to validate each others and your own feelings rather than use familiar maladaptive coping strategies around shame and fear of rejection and abandonment! Thanks!

Have you ever been hesitant to attend couples therapy? Not sure what it would be like or if it would actually make a difference? Enter Julie and the Secure Love Podcast (also get her book, Secure Love!!) She is a brilliant human and compassionate therapist that has taken the very necessary and often overlooked topic of relationship therapy (specifically Emotionally Focused) and made it accessible and transparent for all. In this series she sits down with a REAL couple and the three of them allow us into their weekly therapy sessions while they work through the very relatable issues of their relationship. Each episode is raw, vulnerable and full of love. Julie has a gift for creating a safe environment (albeit virtually for most of us) where the hard work of facing fears, traumas, and emotions can be done. Every episode is full of patience, grace, and growth. It’s pretty incredible and moving to listen in as this real couple works towards becoming more secure individuals and a more secure partnership. I’ve cried as I’ve listened and related to Melissa’s experience but was also surprised to be overcome with emotion and empathy while getting to know Drew’s experience. It’s a beautiful realization that we’re all here for the same thing, a genuine and safe connection to those we love. Thank you, Julie, Melissa, and Drew 🤍

followed julie’s instagram and have learned so much. have her books, so helpful. love taking a class with her. this podcast is EVERYTHING. can’t believe how much is packed into the first episode! i listened and then my husband listened to it with me. he loved it too. sent to others in my family. this is what should be taught/modeled in school. this is the book coming alive. my overall impression of julie is how deeply she wants to help people. and she is. i’m grateful and can’t wait for each episode. 🌿 so now i have listened to 10 episodes. have to say so proud of melissa + drew for sharing their journey and for the work they are doing while their kids are young. life changing. i can see myself in melissa and it is helpful to me to have a different perspective on my husband who is similar.

As an EFT therapist, it’s hard for me to not critically review these podcast episodes. I applaud Julie’s courageousness in airing her therapy sessions to listen to. I also think it’s great that EFT gets promoted as it’s definitely the gold standard for a couple therapy. However, I hear Julie conjecturing (guessing the clients feelings or offering suggestions about the clients feelings) way too much in these sessions. I hope she will slow down, ask the appropriate questions to explore and unpack the clients’ inner emotional worlds. She should allow clients to come up with their own insights, language, and knowledge of their feelings and develop the ability to articulate them without so much help from her.

Highly relatable and incredibly insightful. 10/10

I really appreciate having this podcast. It dropped right at the same time as my partner and I started therapy. We are trying to get into the nitty gritty of our differences and learn how to better listen to understand. This podcast gives me more information to reflect on both our experiences and try to approach conflict with more compassion and empathy. Thank you for making your work accessible!

My husband and I are listening to this podcast while separated and also going to EFT sessions with our own therapist. The podcast would be great on its own or with her book, but it is a wonderful companion to our therapy also. I also find the pacing and real time pauses helpful for processing the valuable information. I look forward to this every week. During a very stressful time in my life, this podcast is a safe place to visit. My avoidant husband also really likes listening on his own.

This is such a helpful resource for human beings struggling in their relationships. Complemented with the book, it becomes a helpful tool to learn about your own attachment style and the attachment style of others in relationships with you. When you are able to understand that, you learn how to react and why you and your loved ones react the way they do. I love the fact that it is presented as the sessions happen, with all the pauses that happen, because it is the only way to dive into the work these people are doing in the sessions. Thank you!

I cannot emphasize enough the impact Julie’s book, Secure Love, and all her media including this all important showcase of attachment theory in action, have had on me. It’s been life changing. Julie is impeccably thorough with dissecting her approach and how attachment theory plays a pivotal role in all our relationships, especially romantic ones. The cliff note sections where she explains in more detail what is occurring in the sessions, do a wonderful job at highlighting the nuances of how we relate and more importantly, get stuck. Her work is positive and it’s obvious from the get go how important it is to help people learn to facilitate on their own the struggles they find themselves in and why. I can’t say enough good!!

Julie is the strongest voice out there teaching us how attachment theory plays out in our primary relationships. I’ve been following her for several years on IG and was delighted when the Secure Love book ( and this podcast) finally released. She is responsible for me finally understanding my anxious attachment formation and how it helps create negative cycles with my avoidant partner of 38 years. A slow journey to a more secure attachment is possible. And it wouldn’t be possible ( for us ) without her help. Thank you Julie! You are a gift.

Julie’s book as well as this podcast are so helpful to peek behind the curtain of what EFT looks like and put some of the principles into practice for myself. Her comments are insightful and the homework that accompanies each episode is very helpful!